Hemophobia

There was a massive point in my life where I wanted to become a children's story book author. At some point there was a point where I realized and was real honest with myself that most of the stories I "came" up with were rip offed from something else. Also failing to secure awards for my writing drifted me more toward art which I've once in awhile received. Anyways...

I have much artwork to share but haven't gathered them all together. Actually this week I'll share a short story I wrote while taking a Narrative Story Writing class in Academy of Art University from last year May. This story is basically about a dude with hemophobia carrying on.

 I stumbled upon this after not seeing if for awhile this week. I was quite embarrassed with this so I never shared it.  It took about 2-3 days drifted in sleepless nights to write this 10 page paper which happened to be 11 now. There are a few plot holes and grammar mistakes but considered the time frame I had its not too shabby.

It was interesting I was the only one in the class to write something else than a tragic teen love story. I forgot but someone even included rape in their romantic story. Creepy. It was a little awkward on one of the draft stages I had a fragment of the story. We had to read out loud the segment and mine well....happened to be quite dramatic and not in a teen love story point. The part I read was when the character is bleeding to death and is a hemophobe. He's afraid of blood and is dying of massive blood loss. I got quite descriptive.

Also ran into a few old character sheets of the characters in the story. Since I was 16 I always want to make this into a graphic novel. Its one of the few original stories that I come up with.

Violet U.V. Raye   

                                                         Rigel Blue drawn when I was 16!



Hemophobia
Silence. That is all I hear. Ah yes that ringing noise in my ears. It burns. It tingles. Jarring my head that is. I attempt to re-gather my orbiting thoughts. The only thing in sight is the piercing blinding white light. The view blurred, grainy almost. I strain to see.  I’m convinced that the particles, neurons, atoms around me are jostling, dancing around and toying with me.
Am I floating? Lack of oxygen probably. That explains why my head is spinning a few centimeters from combusting I suppose. Hey! What am I doing? Regain focus! Focus! Regain composure Ack!? Concentrate. Huh?
Hold on wait a second in this abyss I am not alone. There is also somebody here? Amongst all this white there was a darkened silhouette.
“Who is there?” He fumbled those words but he was barely able to communicate.
 “You don’t recognize me? Do you? Look at me. What is up with that blank stare? Seriously I saved your life after you saved mine. Can you recall anything that happened?”
 “Who are you again?” He further examined the silhouette beside him…At this point of time he still could not identify visual nor verbal cues to what gender he encountered.
He had to think about it, “Ah yes I think remember now...maybe you are?” He motioned his heavy hand trying to get the person to clarify the revolving questions he had.
A soft voice spoke to him. It inquired, “You are Rigel right? A private investigator? What information did you want from me?”
A pen clicked and a clipboard was fished out of a bag.
“There are a few things I would like to know from you and can you tell me….”
“Wait I don’t know anything! I don’t think I have what you need here.” Rigel was mildly confused and frustrated. His head was spinning with all this overloaded information.  
“Let me refresh your memory. I am the informant and I wanted to tell you…”
“Please! Give me a second.”
…Please just enough time to regain composure. He had to re-gather his thoughts. They swirled around fiercely like a torrent. I have to get a grip.  Where in the world am I? What is the gravity of my situation? Rigel inhaled and exhaled deeply.
“Ok alright I think I'm ready. What happened? Where exactly am I?”
 This is not a dream. The man regained his sight and observed his surroundings. White sheets, white walls, white, and even more white. Wait is this a hospital? Huh? How did I get here?
He attempted to sit up. Rigel felt pain it was real.  Bandages. White. Slightly stained but still majorly white.  
Again this pushy person barraged him with numerous questions. All the words spoken to him Rigel could hear but he was not able to comprehend or process anything. All of it was just gibberish. Some of it he did not care to listen to anyway.
“What? Why? Say again?” He kept stumbling his words.
Careful my head is still spinning. Let me recollect my mind. My memories. Let me get some of these facts straight. Oh yes this is what I was doing?
His thoughts settled. It all came back to him. It had taken some time but Rigel was able to recall what had happened to him.
“Take a step back give me some room to breathe!” Rigel was able to manage to interrupt the stranger. He straightened himself and sat up as much as he could.
“You want to hear what happened in detail?  And let us rewind the past episode if I may.”
Softly the evening rain danced with the dimming faded orange light. Slowly a clammy damp sea breeze brushed the wharf seeping downtown. The air moistened carrying a tinge of the salty ocean. As the faint colors of the sky mixed into black, city street lamps started to stir. They flickered faintly as darkness swelled and became alive.
Pitch black searing darkness covered the seashore city. The cadence ensued as the light pitter-patter of the gentle rain was no more. In obscurity the rain’s presence became overbearing, transforming into something heavier and crueler in its formidable icy dance.
“Rigel can you please get straight to the point” The lovely young women interjected. She shuffled in the seat beside the bed. “It is nice to hear the details but can you speed it up be a bit more punctual? “
“Pfffft…” Rigel exhaled loudly in dissatisfaction.
“Alright so much for the romantic atmosphere and setting. I was going to ease into it but you ruined the mood. You seem like the type to be uptight and cordial. Can’t we mess around first and then get to business?”
His joke was not taken in consideration. She just sat there intently gazing at him. Rigel sighed and looked away,
“Who and what was your name again?”
 “Violet,” She brushed away the long dark hair from her face revealing her eyes with more clarity. Violet’s eyes were the same color as her name.
Ah I’ve heard it somewhere before. Where exactly again? His mind went through a catalog of images and names. Briefly he saw it before. He recalled her photo from one of the case files of missing people.
He squinted and with severe earnestness sharply gazed into Violet’s eyes.
“So if I explained to you what happened can you fill me in on the rest of the story? It will not be much but will it help you?”
She nodded her head in agreement.
“I will tell you what little I know. So lets replay events then. I was there a while that is what is up with the keen observation. We will fast forward to the action shall we?”
A peculiar location, a place he would not dwell in. The methodical man shifted restlessly waiting for someone there. Will they pull through? He hopes so. The informant was in the alley somewhere.
Where could they possibly be..? Any moment now. A shady character no doubt. A no show. Lights flickered and dimmed and caused distress. Tick tock. He glanced at his watch for some change in time and pacing.  Where are they? I’m tired of being disappointed.
Impatiently he glanced and surveyed the area surrounding him hoping for updated news.
Great. It is getting dark now. The steady beating rain is slowly being transformed to snow. He shivered wrapping his arms around himself and sighing heavily. He watched slowly the cold breath swirl around him and leave him.
I cannot dwell here any longer it isn’t safe or secure. This location is too exposed. Too vulnerable. Who in the world makes a casual meeting in an alleyway? Nothing about this is casual or usual to that matter.  Whoever it is will have to make do without me. And I’ll have to make do without their information. I can figure the missing pieces of this case anyways by myself.  Oh well I’ll figure it out anyhow. He left. Vanished. Or so his mind did in an alternate state.
Without realizing it Rigel was slowly freezing. Hands were getting numb he noticed but he could not observe the other symptoms. This weather wasn’t ordinary it started to snow. Quietly the snow piled up a deadly occurrence.
            As he was about to leave he noticed something. Movement. He studied it and from across the street he noticed someone in a heavy coat. He waved and was about to make his way toward them when he heard: a car with broken brakes screeches horribly, which proceeded with a loud thunderous noise, three flickering lights and then silence.
What was that? Rigel crouched and plastered himself on the cold brick wall. He waited for a while for more noise and movement. There was not any. He made his way across the street disturbing and making an impression on the thin layer of snow on the ground. 
Rigel arrived at where he believed where he last saw the figure. There he observed a set of faded footprints. Hm?
“There you are thought I lost you” a raspy voice somewhere nearby spoke.
“For a second I thought we were compromised.”
            “What do you have for me?” Rigel’s interest was piqued.
“About that those all those disappearances are all connected you see…” The thunderous noise reoccurred and interrupted their conversation. The informant pulled out there gun. In the dark the yellow bursts of lights flickered. The assailant fled and the informant followed. Rigel was left alone. He definitely did not want to stay here any more than he had to unarmed.
Drudging through this storm Rigel was searching for his car. He had lost his way and forgotten when he had parked. While searching the darkened streets he retraced in the depths of why and the reasoning for his actions and events that occurred today.
Rigel’s mind wandered again. He grimaced as undesirable sharp thoughts constantly pinched his mind. 
I never do this…. Now I would have never have gotten myself into this dangerous convoluted mess. Typically Rigel did not leave his office for his work. Nor had he ever been motivated or compelled to do so. He had this fear…this condition preventing him to be productive. A somewhat irrational fear. Rigel used to be brave but ever since Uncle Blue disappeared from being on a field mission he was never the same. He despised and could not tolerate a single substance and color.
HA! What a fool I’ve been for playing this pointless game. He chuckled to himself loud enough to choke. He had to remember to take a breath and calm down.
“The odds were never in my favor. Honestly how could I believe in my own delusions and fantasies! None of this would of worked well even though I wished it to be!”
Rigel smirked. With dissatisfaction he was sickly amused with all this commotion. There was a low probability of him succeeding his mission to begin with. But Rigel took what slim bleak chance he had, despite the warning signs. He played all of his cards when he clearly should not have. Rigel had a tendency and history of ridiculously bad luck. It finally hit him. He finally won his jackpot of misfortune!
Rigel staggered as another flush of blood left his body. Downward and head spinning I looked and re-examined my abdomen. Here I rediscovered my agony. I had been shot twice.
The tighter he held and try to maintain this river or life the quicker it fled from him. Foolishly I had rushed into the fray. I am always cautious. I would have never have taken a bullet for anyone. But at the spur of the moment the adrenaline kicked in and before I knew it this red. Red. Crimson. I hate red. Blood.
Rigel convulsed uncontrollably as he saw it again. He could not help it he continued to be focused on that. It made him sick looking at it. A vicious cycle. He spat up some more blood. Once more he became more quesy. His hands shook trying to apply pressure but his hands were stained with that horrid color he could not bear to look at himself without feeling severely uncomfortable.
There were two bullets skewered in his body and there was nothing Rigel could do about it. But only to wallow in despair. One of the two bullets within him shattered. The fragments painfully pulsated. Gasping for air, wheezing he attempted to grip onto the cold brick wall. He was unsuccessful only catching air. Instead he slid, slipped slowly toward the ground.
Crouched over and clutching himself Rigel had attempted to regain his focus. He looked behind him, severely hoping that the assailant was not close by.  
There was neither relief nor evidence of reassurance to be found. My heart dropped. The diluted bright crimson trail of blood was a major concern. Heavily he sighed.
“My footsteps can be easily retraced. And that definitely would be the end of me.”
Rigel shivered as a cold rush came over his body. He managed to regain conscious for a split second.
“Reveal to me my final ending. My grand triumph! For once I just wanted to…Wanted to just be…. To be…”
This time around he wanted to play an active role in this case and mission. Instead of being a coward and only playing an invisible helping hand role in his office. Like every man, just for once Rigel desired to be the cool guy that saves the beautiful girl and the world. He had accomplished nothing he had not gained any new information. This transformation of wanting to be the cool guy ruined him. Above all he still feared the presence of blood. His thoughts were interrupted. 
            Rigel panicked he heard something. Tap tap tap. It was not the snowfall. Closer it came closer.  Well. Well. I’ll just act a coward that I am. I’ll just pretend I’m dead like a possum. Everything around him became darker and faint. The searing pain overwhelmed him.
Uncle Blue must’ve felt like this. He used to enjoy this thrill putting his life on the line and barely surviving. This time he knew it could not be done. Those lukewarm thoughts transpired and he froze. He hit the ground with a thud disturbing the fresh snow surrounding him. The soft gentle snowfall was the only thing to console him as he laid there alone coloring the fresh white snow into a deep dark red.
“Wha la! The end!” Exclaimed Rigel as he stuffed himself with a spoonful of applesauce.
“Happy? Disappointed? Want more?  Haven’t have the slightest idea of why I’m laying here comfortably in a hospital bed. And if it was you who had brought me here why thank you.”
Violet was stunned. How could he joke about that? Something so serious and make to a jest of it all. What is wrong with him? Why is he playing it off? She glared at him and sharply stated,
“You had a panic attack and fainted the events that occurred you dramatized them severely.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” 
The vigor in his voice drained slightly. Once again he was disappointed his joke was rejected and was not even acknowledged. He glanced over to the side not looking at her as he pushed away the empty bowl of applesauce.
“Well I managed to remember the license plate of the car. Not bad don’t you think?”
“How did you do that with all that commotion?”
“Oh yes my focus was absolute. Lock on eagle vision.” Rigel pointed at his eyes.
“Despite…” He gave a pained look he did not want to remember that color again.
“Here let me write it down.”
Re reached over to grab a pen on the nightstand but while doing so his hand nervously brushed by a glass vase. This contact knocked the vase onto the ground. It startled him. No good it made him even clumsier. Casually and pretending that did not happen Rigel attempted to grab the tiny notebook. He almost had it but while reaching for it his hand got nicked.
Instinctively he examined his hand and that horrid crimson red starting seeped out.   Once he caught sight of it his head started to spin again. Sweating he was losing his vision. 
“Hey! Rigel” are you ok?” That soothing voice made him snap back and broke Rigel’s concentration.
“Take a deep breath. Slowly. Breathe in breathe out.” Rigel looked at her in horror. You are getting used to this. You can handle this Rigel”

This minor incision is nothing of what he had just experienced. I can overcome this. Maybe I will. He tried to be enthusiastic. Rigel gulped. He stared again at his hand. Gingerly he gazed at it and did not panic. 

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