It's the end of November where have I been? I've been catching up with: sleep, deadlines, balancing things out and well....the rest is secret.

Everyone has their highs and lows. I try to be mainly positive but I have to admit I haven’t painted oil on canvas for about 5 months.  I’ve been down, busy and most of the typical excuses.  Yadayada
Sometimes you are tired and have to push through and hang in there! Just because you are having a bad day don't spread the negativity around!

As one of my friends used to say when asking what are you doing? "Eh Sometding?" and I reply "Nawthing" Up to Nawthing.

I had a few posts planned and I wanted to release but…TBA

It occurred to me when I briefly visited my dad on Thanksgiving and when I walked out the back door he said, “Amumh ma ah ang en dere!” I have relatively bad hearing. And I exclaimed “Huh! What?! What’d you say” and he was actually said “kick ass! You can do it. Hang in there!”

Sometimes those are the words you need to hear. I told him I will. What he mentioned was part of a saying of a quote I think I made up. If you disagree you can tell me privately and that is alright, I won’t be offended. If so I'll be honored to see who first made it up.

Anyway when I was taking Color Theory from the Academy of Art University I was tired of it kicking my ass. I turned almost everything on time and every thing I did was rejected. Anyone from that school will tell you Color Theory is one of the most difficult classes to take.  I wrote on my board and I think I wrote it on one of my old blogs, “I’m tired of getting my ass kicked. Imma kick (their) ass instead” So take it to heart when you seem beat all seems to be down. Remember you can get up from where you are and do something. You may not be able to control all the circumstances around you but you can control your response to that action.

One quote my dad always says besides the “Past does not equal the future” Is also “With every adversity comes with a seed of a equal or greater benefit." So there is something to be learned with every situation.

It was a tough during that time, physically and emotionally. I almost died twice during that time. I saw the lights at the end of the tunnel one light one dark. But hey during those times I can see color. I can stare at a white wall and see all the colors within it. It isn’t white or the fact I can look at a black curtain and see what every bit of color. Technically in color theory black and white are not colors.

 I can stare at a blank field and I cry sometimes because I see the beauty of all the colors and how they flitter and dance in front of me. Nobody can see them only me or sometimes people with trained eyes. Not every artist can see color it is a gift. Or even the fact if you can see it can you bring the emotion in it. It is my job to highlight and bring color in people’s life.
                                    A bit of color theory madness from back then.
                          Usually as the night wears on more caffeinated drinks would be noticeable
                          I was working with gouache and it is more than a pain than acrylic paint!

Another thing I’ve said even before that when I was about 10. I was drawing this shark comic. If I find it its not funny but to a ten year old it is.
“Im like a shark nobody sees me coming but when I arrive I will open my jaws and chomp the competition and take them all out.”

I say that because I’ve always been the one that they called: dumb, ugly, stupid, people would not call me by name, and something strange and off about her because I always had a sketch book in my hand. Doodling. Head in the clouds. Nobody was afraid to say this to my face. And would even tell me to be like other people and not be myself.

But now it’s the opposite: smart, brilliant, innovative and beautiful. I’m still not used to these comments but I’ll take them. And also people are now curious to see what I have in my sketchbook, what projects I’ve working on, and what pictures I have taken with my camera. People even like my cloud pictures!
 Sorry people who take pictures of random ones I only like to take pictures of cumulus clouds!
                                                  Little Pico is a song by Raujika I
                                          think that song alone can be made into a game!

I’ve made a postcard about 5 years ago and someone told me when and if I get famous or something they would sell if for a million dollars. I told them it is not possible because I own the copyright. They got a little sad and I was actually joking about that and signed the front. I believe that is the only one I signed the front of.

So it comes to a surprise to when I do something to people who expect me to fail because of my past and being raised by a single father with no mother. People who knew me at my darkest times don’t want to see me now.

It ain’t that bad!  As people always say. I always tell them it’s still bad though!
So I painted this like 5 months ago didn’t think it was hot and didn’t share it but its not that bad.

In case your wondering
 If I had a past life I totally was a ninja.
If I was an animal I was shark. I’m a shark.

Some people use the season Spring for a chance to get a fresh start. Well in the Fall I get this feeling to start anew. I go through all my things and organize them like Spring cleaning but for fall.

I’ve got most of my friends since September on this idea of #freshstart. Getting rid of old ideas, habits, stale unreliable boyfriends, and moving to another place. In a sense a fresh start. Yay for fresh starts. Fresh perspectives 
As my friend's aunt says out with the people who weren't there and in with the people who stayed around! 

I've been grumpy and have totally been a grouch lately.  My mp3 player broke. because the  charge port had been abused from continuously being used TTTT____TTTTT I have had the samsung galaxy player 5.0 for a few years. It was a mini tablet and mp3 player.

So to soften the blow the Warranty company is going to reimburse me for the warranty and the price for what I had originally paid for. Since they deemed it unfix-able and its still under my 3 year hardware warranty.

But the big issue now is that mini tablets have practically been discontinued because the majority of people use their phone as an mp3 player or get a huge tablet. Countless friends joke about how I'm the cool kid on the block with two phones. I'm an audiophile and the sound quality from a phone and a dedicated music player is night and day to me. I had the 5.0 before I got a "Smart" phone.

 But I like my mp3 player and phone to be separate. I don't like clicks, whistles and people calling when I listen to music and in the zone with making art. It breaks my concentration.

Sorry I got distracted with my point with this rant. So my options that are irritating me are 7inch tablets or built in memory devices that run from 6 inches. Problem is last year I upgraded my 32gb micro sd card to a 64gb and I would like to use it. I've owned a 7in tablet before this 5.0, and I broke it from dropping it all the time since it did not fit in my pockets.

I've gotten to be a cranky old grandma that is set in the ways. No change please. But guess that I'll have to adapt unwillingly.

Anyway so I'm wired to my computers. Still listening to tracks. So enjoy the overload of music and art. ;] I've been quiet for too long.

Onward sorry if you have slow internet. Hope I don't freeze your computer, tablet or phone.

Sketches and sketches and even more sketches. I have so many ideas that I come up with. Can't find all the ones I wanted to show off. But here are some. So I'll dump them here. Also one aspect I wanted to show is how small I work. And from something so small I can bring it into photoshop and make it bigger. My hands are small but in the picture one can kind of guess how small I generally work.

I wanted to draw this image since I was in highschool. It's a tiger vs. crow. Martial arts with dilapidated buildings in the background. I have the skills now to complete and convey what I want to with this image.

Another note. Awhile back my friend and I had a interesting conversation and somewhat debate. He was saying that hip hop has changed over the last 15 years or so. His argument was that now in days most people pay attention to the beat instead of the lyrics in rap music. I admitted to him that most of the time I catch the beat first before getting the lyrics. I'm like everybody else. Pretty much we discussed after Dr. Dre it was all about the groove in hip hop. But a change of pace is nice after awhile hearing poetry in a song. Currently the most most recent song that has awesome poetry that is somewhat is ignored is the song 3005.

Here are a few examples of my favorite emcees, where its really not about the groove but about the poetry.

Perfect lyrical smoothie. The flow and poetry I used to listen to this in high school all time. It was theme song. Yo regardless.

I used to listen to Highs 2 Lows and Paradise all the time. People would ask what I was listening to because I always had my ipod when I transferred my junior year in high school. Life ain't no crystal stair. A little love from Langston Hughes.

The last bit of poetry is so smooth.

Cause when them checks clear, they're not here
Cause they don't care
It's kinda sad, but I'm laughing whatever happens
Assassins are stabbed in the back of my cabin
Labrador yapping.

The assassin's verse is my favorite line in the song. Elegant.

So dedicated fans I've waited 6 years for this.  Uyama Hiroto's cd Freedom of the Sun.

He's real mellow but I really like the essence and soul Hiroto brings to his beats. So buy it!You know you want it.

Another point if your'e reading this far. On 10/23/14 there is a partial solar eclipse! I love to take pictures of eclipses and solar events with my camera. I haven't seen a solar eclipse since I was 8! I seen a bunch of Lunar Eclipses. But my first one was a total solar eclipse that in the middle of the day it got dark. Some people never witness this phenomena in their entire life! I've been so fortunate to have seen a total solar eclipse.

 I've always been a resident stargazer and can find constellations. I've seen all the planets with my eyes through a telescope. Seeing Jupiter and its moons are amazing. One of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life. It takes precision and careful execution to take pictures of planets and stars. One cannot burst shoot. My camera the panasonic FZ100 weakness is taking pictures in the dark but I work with it and adjust for it. I can go on and on about astronomy. I'm just an enthusiastic hobbyist.  I'm super psyched to have seen one again  if you can't tell. It was a partial so most of the sun was exposed. If you were not aware it was happening people have missed the majority of the phenomena.

 A couple of examples of astronomy pictures from a while back. A Lunar eclipse, it is red because Mars was in the trajectory of the moon. If you live in North America like I do Mars can only be seen in the winter time mostly late at night.

These two songs are constantly stuck in my head.
Chotto Matte

Nothing can calm the savage beast but music. I keep saying that to myself every time I get irritated that everything is quiet without my music player.