"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Has been one of my life mottos and mantras. Whether it being: the concern being a natural daydreamer, caring what people thought about life situations, in a terrible car accident and wondering if I'll walk again, losing thousands of dollars in savings, my parents getting divorced and I lost my mother at the age of 7 with the high risk of being a troubled child, flunking classes, my health issue that had the potential to be worse, almost getting evicted, heart breaks, and getting into some serious trouble in all the jobs that I have worked.
Last week I got laid off of my good job as a Graphic Designer at a print shop. Naturally I WAS scared like anyone else who just lost their job. I saw the signs coming, but since I am a good worker, I wasn't worried. Alas It happened anyway and I have to deal with it.
It is terrifying to face the unknown and lose job security/stability.
Notice that I emphasized the word WAS.
I WAS Afraid.
I am not afraid anymore.
I was let go on good terms. We joked it wasn't like get the F**K OUT!
Several times I was close to being thrown out with that expletive with that same job. My former boss and I had our moments like that. I survived the storm countless times. Being stubborn and tenacious can be good and bad. She admitted she admired that sometimes I would still come to work despite knowing that the work day is and will be extremely bad and work through it. It was a learning process, since I am trained as a Illustrator and not a Graphic Artist/Designer by nature. Before I thought these professions were like the same but boy I learned there are differences. Measure your crap by the millimeter and don't just eye it. A quarter inch can be the breaking point for a project.
I can laugh about these now, but at the time it was not funny. This cush job was not unicorns, bliss and glitter. Hell I hate glitter with a burning passion. Nothing good ever comes from glitter.
There was an instance with this one project this man wanted this card designed with just glitter being the main theme. I pulled it off despite my extreme hatred for glitter. Turned out decent and I admitted when the customer picked up his work I didn't think this project was going to end well at all.
It's annoying but I get pranked with glitter birthday cards. >___>;
One major event where I thought I was going to get fired was I broke a computer and my former boss said, "Well no computer no work. There is no need for you until it is fixed. Goodbye." I didn't think
know how long that was going to be. I assumed weeks, and by then I was sure she would have hired someone else.
That evening I was in an emotional frenzy. Its an under statement to say I over reacted. I didn't know where I was going to go or do. I wanted to pack up everything in my apartment. I'm pretty quick with moving, since I've moved so much in my life. I have that process streamlined, could've finished that night. My best friend stopped me. "Nooooo! don't pack up your shit!" It took a lot convincing.
Well, good thing I didn't pack my stuff up.
About noon the next day my boss texted me to come to work to help printing from the other functioning computers. No one really knew how to use the other computers, and I was able to install
programs and teach everyone how to use it. This was definitely terrible, awkward and uncomfortable to come back but I rose to the occasion. The computer was replaced within a week. After that debacle I was not so clumsy and didn't mess up as much anymore.
Back to present day matters after moping around for a day or so and talking to the two people closest to me... my creative gears have been turning.
There are some projects and skills I want to learn that have been on the back burner, due to time constraints. I had this brilliant idea the other week. Now I have time to execute.
With being laid off I was going to work on my sharpening my skills as a Graphic Artist and then look for work again. The more I thought about it, I wasn't excited for this plan as I should've been long term. The end goal was depressing the more I thought about it.
There are 3 Core life goals that define me. These 3 things are the essential core being of me being an INFP. Generally I don't like to share these with people because I have heard the negative echos before and some have used my dreams to purposely hurt me. I vowed never to speak about these again until I do it.
One of these core goals is being able to work full time and support myself artistically from home.
For years I thought I wanted to work at a big corporation like Sony, but that changed when I made my workspace
more comfortable. Freelance is the way to go.
I will still sharpen my skills as an Artist and Graphic Designer. What I decided is one of my side hustles pays well, is going to be my new job.
I am thrilled and excited about the idea of working on my skills and this soon to be job thing. Why not do all three of these? Instead of just doing enough to look for another not so fulfilling job?
If I want to do this I can't wait for the perfect moment to work from home, the opportunity presented itself and I have to fight for this now. The time and opportunity is arriving sooner than I thought I am not totally prepared but recognize the moment being now. Like some of the best things that happened in my life it wasn't easy, I had to fight like hell for it or was born from tragedy.
When I am set up, I'll talk about what this thing is, and yes you can hire me for this service. 🙌
I can work from home. I have discipline to work at my own pace and don't really need someone looking over my shoulder to be productive. In my natural habitat I am more awake and creatively driven at night, and like to chill during the day. I am forced to work normal daytime hours like most people. I like to work at my own pace. Take naps or play online games in the day when there aren't 12 year olds online. I don't necessarily have that burning desire or need to see people and customers, I can be alone for extended periods of time. When I have that itch for interaction I go to the drawing group and flexibility to go have lunch or dinner with friends when I want.
Metaphorically I feel like little Simba in the original Lion King film with his little feet running away.
With Mufasa's death...aka my old job, things had to change. The process of change and transformation is not easy. It will be difficult and a challenge I am willing to face.
Runnaway (From a 9-5 job) and never look back. It is not
Hakuna Matata where I can't have things magically happen and have my head in the sand. I need to work hard to make the magic.
__________
I also want to recommend and introduce the book Who Moved My Cheese.
In my freshman year is college in my College Success class we were introduced to this book. From time to time I reread it. Who Moved My Cheese is a 40 page book that you can read the entire book in less than an hour.
Using wonderful metaphors, there are basically 4 types of people and how they react to change.
Do you complain and do nothing as you see the signs of change coming or are you proactive and rise to the occasion when things abruptly changes?
Right now there is so much uncertainty, disruption in this world right now. I know and have the confidence to do this. Don't worry about me. Believe in me.
This is fan art from the game Oninaki. I just beat it and got the platinum trophy. The game is pretty but its like a B movie but in game. This game could've been better with writing and execution.
