It has been a difficult Winter but Spring is practically here!

 Sometimes you have to make a wrong turn to get back onto the right path. 

The journey of self reflection and discovery often seems to begin in pain and sorrow. Personally never seen anyone gleefully wander onto that path. It isn’t easy to truly reflect within and face yourself and hopefully overcome the inner trials. 

I left the coolest job I ever had. The major factor in my decision to leave was that it was the most toxic workplace I have ever worked at. The stress and drama of it all, also since I do not revel in chaos it didn’t work out. No job should remind me of my troubled childhood. Sometimes I would question to myself why I was acting strangely or reacting in a way I normally wouldn’t and well it ignited the minefield of repressed memories of my childhood. There is a reason why certain memories are repressed, I don’t need it to function and survive on the daily!

 

Truly I have no regrets. A strange experience. I had 2 job offers when I started the job. Either one I choose I would’ve regretted turning down the other wondering what the other one was like. Now I don’t have to wonder or regret, when I have tried both.

I thought the choice I made four months ago would be made with happiness, and it was at the time. Sounds cheesy but this experience made me realize what I do not want to do and return to the thing I want to dox. Being a Graphic Designer is a cool job, but I don’t think like one. I can do design but its from a drawing/painting standpoint. Winging it and relying on feels does not compute with precise measurements and solving math problems to fix the design. One running joke I make is I make ugly business cards...because that is what the client wants. I don’t hate or despise that line of work it just isn’t for me. 

Even though I still some limited Graphic work but it is more my pace without high level of stress. 

It seems like the thing you love the most is also the same exact thing that can hurt you the most. There was a time where it brought great distress and had to take a break from it.

Thoughtful my life I have tried other art forms and interests but my true love is drawing and painting. One failsafe is I invested so much time into it I really am not good at anything else. 

I’m back on track to seriously focus on Concept Art & Illustration. I mean it is truly relaxing, entertaining and fulfilling to paint these rocks, dirt, metal boxes till 4am and be happy. 

Recent Spotify playlist 

Totally inundated with work stuff.  

🤧 There was a blizzard a few weeks ago. I walked out in it because I ran out of food and my car was stuck on a snowy hill. Had a small cold after that then it turned worse after further walking around later in the same week waiting for the bus in the cold. 😫 I think I'm just not used to the strains of cold/flu in Washington. Eh still getting over this cold. 😖 All the projects that I was working on that was postponed is due...over due. TT^TT 

ugh Wish me well🤧

-K

Spotify Playlist

 The bane to my existence is losing my surface pro pen, I'll find it sometime today... I hope. Don't have a backup pen for that one. So instead sketched with Sepia Prismacolor Col-Erase pencil & Moleskine sketchbook. 

I've been super busy with some rush jobs and having normal deadlines back to back. But popped in a drawing session google meetup tonight. I've gotten to the point I hate doing rush jobs unless I like the client and I'm getting paid mega well for it. These days I try not to bring extra stress into my life or completing assignments last minute. Been there done that. 

Sometimes the ways I come up with ideas is just random. Random connections just connect. Its like changing channels on TV. Skips arounds and then settle on something.  I don't mind sharing ideas with other artists because most of the time they'll create something different than I would. Someone was drawing a Post Apocalyptic nurse and I'm going to use the prompt as well. But my idea is different than what they had going on.

I was drinking milk...and then I kind of want to get Breath of the Wild game but then don't because it is a long open world game. Do I have time for it? Not much. It'll take forever to beat the game and I still have games from the summer sale I stockpiled.

 

Then I thought about Got Milk? and Link with Lon Lon Ranch

Ran out of space because I drew in the corner of a smaller formatted sketchbook. 

I'll complete this digitally.

Thought about a random rapper pose and drew it. 

Not totally sure what I want to do with this yet.

Songs I've been Vibin' to this week

 

Last week I heard from a good friend Zero Two whom sometimes we don't talk for years but it's always great to hear what he's up to. He put together a world class team to work on an interactive audio book. 

You can support Zero Two's Brawler Kings - Star: Lost in the Shadows on Indiegogo & Website

When I offer encouragement it is genuine nor do I tell everyone the same exact thing like a catch phrase. 

One point I made is sometimes when you are close to the finish line is when you want to give up. Or you truly don't realize how far you've come. Even if the project doesn't meet its goal or isn't financed now, it WILL happen at some point. The pieces, foundation and groundwork is are there. Asking numerous well know celebrities to work on your project is daunting, he was able to do it.  

Honestly I was feeling down myself last week and was surprised I was able to offer encouragement from where I was at mentally. Then the positivity of encouragement encouraged myself as well. I stopped moping about the thing I was moping around about.

The more you learn and know about your craft the less you realize you do not know about things. With Graphic Design I've gotten better with dealing with Imposter syndrome but it still creeps in from time to time. The is my work good enough? The perceptual cycle of self loathing and feeling of ineptitude. 

During these tough times we have to encourage, motive, love and bring peace in this dark times we're going through!

Take Care!

-K

 

Happy New Year to all! Hope this year gets better for everyone. 

Stay safe and hopeful.

Hang in there!

Love Y'all!

Much Peace & love.  

: >

I've been waiting all year to say this joke. But see y'all next year. 

This is so gonna be lit with the Virtual Light Show

King 5 News Virtual New Years Show

     Over the Thanksgiving weekend I watched the Netflix show Space Force. I actually found it hilarious and way better than I thought it was going to be. The brief trailer Netflix showed when hovering over the show made me decide to

 watch it. All the accidental explosions. 

    Comedy is always a mixed bag, it is a hit or miss. Sometimes humor isn't funny to some. The Space Force stars Steve Carell. This is a fictionalized depiction of POTUS's decision to create the military branch of Space Force. The show tackles with Space Force branch being taken seriously, their woes, crazy shenanigans, being worried about tweets. and some callbacks growing up in Military culture some of ridiculousness of how Chain of Command can be. 

Space Force is a Black comedy, some aspects reminded me of a modern day Dr. Strangelove. Episode 2 was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I thought it was great. Watched that particular twice. There was a lot of people offended by that particular episode. It was pretty dark. 

I recommend this show. Can't wait for Season 2.

Ugh! Cliffhangers.  

Speaking of Space. On the 21st the Phenomena of the Christmas Star will be visible. It isn't a star but Saturn and Jupiter will be extremely close to each other or look like one giant star. No one knows.  From Earth to the naked eye planets tend to look like super bright stars. 

Check it out: https://earthsky.org/human-world/was-the-christmas-star-real

I live in an area with light pollution, I cannot see stars only planets. Unfortunately I don't have a awd to go to the good places and observe the stars. Someday, but not anytime soon. I miss looking at the stars and milky way when it is visible.